Jay's Follies

Thursday Humour

2009-01-29T15:03:00.002-05:00

8 months in...

2008-12-20T20:36:00.002-05:00

My blogging duties have obviously fallen by the wayside. I haven't posted anything substantial since April, and I guess some will say I never have.

To the same sex marriage detractors who say its not really marriage if its two men let me say this, you know not what you speak about. 8 months into my separation I am just getting over the turmoil in my life. Losing a spouse is awful to put it mildly. It is said it takes 6 months to get over a death, well this is harder. That part of my life is dead but I see his zombie almost daily. A constant reminder, like salt in a wound.

The worst aspect is I have come to a realization that I no longer have an identity. After years who of conceding little bits of myself to placate another I find myself only with my man bits intact, nothing of an individuality left. Where is that sk8er boi gone? Where is my snowboard?

Where has the fun in my life gone? Once upon a time I couldn't choose between the daily options. Now I find myself always at home. A tired man getting older and now with gray hairs.

Half of the person I was for the last 7 years is gone and the other half is unable to stand on its own. No longer twenty something, I'm nearing the midway of my 30's. The biggest shock was accepting I wasn't that young guy with everyone's eyes fixed on me. Now I'm just background noise. When did that happen?

Being from out of the province, and meeting my future ex husband upon arrival, the only friends I had were friends of his. Did I mention his intense jealousy and my inability to even speak with a stranger? I shouldn't blame him, It's my fault for placating. No one to blame but myself. So not only am I husbandless, I find myself here nearly completely alone except for a few friends with extremely busy lives. All of them couples.

Who am I? How do I go up from here? How do I reclaim me and carve out a new separate future?

I'm sure I'll figure it out but I really hate this shit.

But I do know one thing, when I am back, no man will ever dismantle me piece by piece again.

For my lost love.

2008-08-11T20:45:00.002-04:00

I miss you dearly. I still dream our dreams.

I am almost back to normal (a new normal) I hope to return to regular blogging this fall.

OMG Please no.

2008-03-31T18:57:00.004-04:00

Where do I even start with this? It's rumoured to be an April Fools Prank as these, um, "things" are only available on April 1 and in limited supplies (there actually may be a god).

The first question, if these are legit, is why? Why why why? Men just do not look good like this.

Joskstraps, yes.

This slingshot, no.

And most guys won't trim before putting this on. Think of the children.

This thing is the opposite of what most men wear working out. I just where sweat pants in my home gym, no shirt as to have thwe most mobility. This accomplishes the opposite.

You'd get a wedgie attempting what this guy is doing in the pic above.

Perpetual Meal

2008-03-19T17:29:00.004-04:00

This is quite disgusting. I call it the Perpetual Meal because whether about to be eaten or after being thrown up it would look the same.

A sick vicious cycle.

I have no idea what it is but I see rice, I think chicken, what may be egg (I hope) and tucked in there is what looks like a cockroach or two.

Have I mentioned I love dates but can't look at them while eating it? They look like big juicy bugs, full of threads, and the same colour as a beetle. And sticky.

Yuck

LOL. This is Hilarious!

2008-02-19T11:13:00.001-05:00

Watch until the end. The chair prank is absolutely insane!

At 34

2008-02-06T13:59:00.000-05:00

Its hard for me to believe that I am now 34. I use to consol myself that I was only a third of a century old with the hope I will live a century. Not a stupid thought when considering advances in health and well being. Unfortunately I have turned the tide heading directly to being half a century old in just 16 years!

A lot of things are on my mind. The top one being my employment. I am at a point where I relalize my salary will soon max out due to the nature of the non-profit industry and limitations that those with science degrees face with regards to salary, usually capping at about $52,000 a year. Having reached that point I now have to look into moving on to other opportunities. The jobs I am looking to fill require more education in different areas of study. I now need to decide on a new vocation. The environmental field was supposed to be the happening industry to get involved with back in the mid-1990's. Who would have thought a political ideology of climate change denial, lies, and inaction could have such an effect but the industry has not taken off and IMHO, never will. The work will instead be after the fact and purely feats of engineering because we have to adapt apparently and not prevent. What a bad idea but I digress.

The thought of more university excites me but the second thought about the debt I will incur does not. Its necessary though as I have student debt still and a home and have not been saving for retirement. Who can with such crappy wages and expensive costs to live these days. Prices and taxes increase, wages never seem to follow suit.

I reminisced last night about past birtdays, especially childhood ones and the obligatory birthday parties. My dad cooked the same meal for me every year. Pineapple chicken and fried rice. This is no doubt the reason I still cook this meal (according to his recipe) to this day. I will be cooking it this evening to share with my hubby. If you want the recipe, contact me. Many good memories.

Anyways, I am happy and have someone in my life who makes downside of any issue look trivial. I am thankful for him and his ways. I am also thankful to be here at this point in time no matter the shit going on in the world. The beauty this planet has is worth the trials and tribulations I face.

Here's looking forward to 35!

The Knife from Sweden

2008-01-02T10:39:00.000-05:00

Really Loving this band from Sweden called "The Knife". Reminds me a little of the Smashing Pumpkins hey day.

"Heartbeats" by The Knife

"Pass It On" by The Knife

Whoops...Somethings not Kosher

2007-12-23T12:47:00.001-05:00

For a laugh sometime, ask the person at the deli if their ham is kosher. They'll actually go and ask. I did it as a joke last year. It doesn't work on my butcher as I found out yesterday.

This Parody of the 12 Days of Christmas is Hilarious.

2007-12-23T12:22:00.000-05:00

Hey Nic, how's the Christmas Spirit going?

Yes I have a Dark sense of humour...

2007-12-23T11:44:00.000-05:00

...and so does my boss. This is the image on the Christmas card I gave her this year. Despite my many complaints about work. I am thankful I have a boss who has very similar interests as me. It makes for great conversation. I am thankful for having her, especially since she just gave me a hefty bonus and pay raise!

The Jack Ford Story: Newfoundland's POW in Nagasaki

2007-12-19T18:55:00.001-05:00

This book is an account of my Great Uncle Jack's time spent as a POW in Nagasaki when the atomic bomb known as "fat boy" was dropped. It was written by Jack Fitzgerald and the interviews took place over the last couple of years and Uncle Jack is still around today.

It covers his enlistment in the Royal Air Force where he joined with the British (Newfoundland was a colony still) and was eventually stationed in Singapore. The Japanese military captured him and many others when they took over Asia and he was ultimately transferred to a prisoner of war camp in Nagasaki.

The account of his time in the camp , during the nuclear blast and his ultimate freedom is quite heart wrenching.

A must read for anyone interested in World War II history.

The Book is published by Creative Book Publishing, ISBN 1-897174-23-3.

Holiday Eating Tips

2007-12-19T13:59:00.000-05:00

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone.

Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat step #3.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of
food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the centre of attention. They're like a
beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind,you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? labour Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

"Air Supply Burger"

2007-12-17T22:57:00.000-05:00

This is a little creepy. I think it's the first time I've ever felt weird because of a burger. It just seems wrong and a little gross. Very funny though. Now whenever I hear this song I will think of crusty lips with a meaty tongue. What exactly is the lettuce and cheese supposed to be?

Holidays!

2007-12-17T14:47:00.000-05:00

That time of year is just about upon us. Here in Toronto its going to be a white Christmas, something I haven't seen for a good decade or more. I couldn't be happier. The snow storm this weekend did not keep me in, in fact, I spent more time outside than I usually do in the summer! The snow brings back a lot of good memories of growing up and spending time with family.

I have many memories of getting that perfect tree. On the second Sunday of December we would go for a "drive" to the Codroy Valley in Newfoundland outside of of my hometown where I grew up. One year we saw the perfect tree to cut down after searching for hours in vain. Unfortunately it was on someones front yard. It was absolutely perfect all around as it was growing in solitude with no other tress near it. The fact it was in someone's front yard made no difference to my dad who jumped the fence and chopped it down. It was the fastest time I saw him take an axe to a tree. It was probably not the proper thing to do but thats what makes it so memorable. I like to think that whoever owned that tree would have been happy that we thoroughly enjoyed it and we still draw on that experience at this time of the year.

Today I have a fake plastic tree only because of fire regulations. Kind of takes the fun and nostalgia out of it. No freshly cut tree smell but its better than no tree at all. The picture to the right is my tree for 2007. Nothing spectacular but what do you expect from two guys!

I ordered my Christmas ham from the butcher on Sunday. Can't wait for that smell to permeate my home. I am having a group of friends together who are all away from home and their families. My "Night of the Misfit Boys" as I usually call it. The ham well be heavily spiced and flavoured with anise, fennel seeds, onion, garlic, fennel, red wine, cinnamon, cardamom and clove. The glaze will be based on red currants. Yum! Of course their well be eggnog, mulled cider, and tons of appetizers from all over the world reflecting the different cultural backgrounds of my friends and partner.

I would love to hear what you are doing or any memories you would like to share.

Coming Soon!

2007-12-16T23:54:00.000-05:00

General foolishness, life's mysteries, good food, company, lifestyles, curiosities, and weird things. Stay tuned!