Whoops...Somethings not Kosher

For a laugh sometime, ask the person at the deli if their ham is kosher. They'll actually go and ask. I did it as a joke last year. It doesn't work on my butcher as I found out yesterday.

This Parody of the 12 Days of Christmas is Hilarious.

Hey Nic, how's the Christmas Spirit going?

Yes I have a Dark sense of humour...

...and so does my boss. This is the image on the Christmas card I gave her this year. Despite my many complaints about work. I am thankful I have a boss who has very similar interests as me. It makes for great conversation. I am thankful for having her, especially since she just gave me a hefty bonus and pay raise!

The Jack Ford Story: Newfoundland's POW in Nagasaki

This book is an account of my Great Uncle Jack's time spent as a POW in Nagasaki when the atomic bomb known as "fat boy" was dropped. It was written by Jack Fitzgerald and the interviews took place over the last couple of years and Uncle Jack is still around today.

It covers his enlistment in the Royal Air Force where he joined with the British (Newfoundland was a colony still) and was eventually stationed in Singapore. The Japanese military captured him and many others when they took over Asia and he was ultimately transferred to a prisoner of war camp in Nagasaki.

The account of his time in the camp , during the nuclear blast and his ultimate freedom is quite heart wrenching.

A must read for anyone interested in World War II history.

The Book is published by Creative Book Publishing, ISBN 1-897174-23-3.

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone.

Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat step #3.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of
food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the centre of attention. They're like a
beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind,you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? labour Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

"Air Supply Burger"

This is a little creepy. I think it's the first time I've ever felt weird because of a burger. It just seems wrong and a little gross. Very funny though. Now whenever I hear this song I will think of crusty lips with a meaty tongue. What exactly is the lettuce and cheese supposed to be?

Holidays!

That time of year is just about upon us. Here in Toronto its going to be a white Christmas, something I haven't seen for a good decade or more. I couldn't be happier. The snow storm this weekend did not keep me in, in fact, I spent more time outside than I usually do in the summer! The snow brings back a lot of good memories of growing up and spending time with family.

I have many memories of getting that perfect tree. On the second Sunday of December we would go for a "drive" to the Codroy Valley in Newfoundland outside of of my hometown where I grew up. One year we saw the perfect tree to cut down after searching for hours in vain. Unfortunately it was on someones front yard. It was absolutely perfect all around as it was growing in solitude with no other tress near it. The fact it was in someone's front yard made no difference to my dad who jumped the fence and chopped it down. It was the fastest time I saw him take an axe to a tree. It was probably not the proper thing to do but thats what makes it so memorable. I like to think that whoever owned that tree would have been happy that we thoroughly enjoyed it and we still draw on that experience at this time of the year.

Today I have a fake plastic tree only because of fire regulations. Kind of takes the fun and nostalgia out of it. No freshly cut tree smell but its better than no tree at all. The picture to the right is my tree for 2007. Nothing spectacular but what do you expect from two guys!

I ordered my Christmas ham from the butcher on Sunday. Can't wait for that smell to permeate my home. I am having a group of friends together who are all away from home and their families. My "Night of the Misfit Boys" as I usually call it. The ham well be heavily spiced and flavoured with anise, fennel seeds, onion, garlic, fennel, red wine, cinnamon, cardamom and clove. The glaze will be based on red currants. Yum! Of course their well be eggnog, mulled cider, and tons of appetizers from all over the world reflecting the different cultural backgrounds of my friends and partner.

I would love to hear what you are doing or any memories you would like to share.

Coming Soon!

General foolishness, life's mysteries, good food, company, lifestyles, curiosities, and weird things. Stay tuned!